The MBTA hasn’t changed much in the 20+ years I’ve been its captive/customer. The cars are a little shinier but are essentially the same as the ones from the 80s minus some fabric and padding on the seats. Who thought it was a good idea to use woven fabric and absorbent foam on seats that are regularly sweated, urinated and vomited on? You definitely want something that can be hosed down on the regular – certainly not something that retains stains and odors. But I digress… One innovation I’m particularly fond of  is the electronic tracking system that shows when the next train (and the one after) will arrive. There’s even an app that will show you the next 4-5 trains’ arrival times. It’s remarkably accurate. I’ve spent entirely too much time standing on the platform either sweating or freezing wondering when or if the next train would arrive and when it did would I be able to wedge myself into a space among the great unwashed. Now I just look up and see it’s 3 minutes til the next train and go back to mentally berating people for bad behavior and writing future blog posts about them. Apparently, not everyone finds the same comfort in the system. Today after avoiding the Jehovah’s Witnesses stationed outside Beachmont  (more on that later) I entered the station behind a crazed and sweaty young man. He seemed frantic to get through the turnstile. The sign showed a Bowdoin train was approaching – which gives you at least a couple of minutes to get up to the platform. While trying to get out his T-pass he managed to drop his phone, his lunch bag, his sunglasses and said T-pass is rapid succession. He bent down and slipped – his skater shoes giving him no traction on the slick tile. He tried to get purchase but just kept sliding, reminiscent of Jack Tripper trying to hide from Mr. Furley at the Regal Beagle. Once he stopped slipping he then couldn’t get the pass up off the floor – it had that vaporlock that only very thin fingernails or a stiletto will break. From his demeanor, he seemed a nail-biter and there were no knives to be had. He kept slapping at it and grunting but just couldn’t lift it. After what seemed an eon but was really only about 15 seconds he got the T-pass up and kicked the other items through the turnstile. The train was now “arriving” which still gives you about 45 seconds to a full minute to get to it. The guy scrambled to pick up his other items and launched himself up the escalator at a pace Usain Bolt would admire. He missed the train. I know this because when I got to the platform maybe a minute later he was pacing and muttering to himself in a way that made me think he missed a dosage as well as a train this morning. Literally two minutes later, another Blue Line rumbled in. I made sure not to get on his car because I attract enough crazy people without seeking them out. As luck would have it (my luck, not good luck) he got off at Aquarium as I did. Still crazed, he almost knocked over a bunch of pre-schoolers and their teacher as he bolted up the stairs and out of sight. Now I have to wonder – where the hell was he going that 120 seconds made that much of a difference? Does he get lashed with a cat-o-nine-tails for every minute he’s late? Is he a tester at the vodka and blow up doll factory? Is it oral sex day at the plant and if you’re late you have to give instead of receive? Whatever it was I hope he made it – and I’m really glad I’m working from home the next two days.